Month: November 2015

Lazy, Happy Doggie

Saturday was Maggie’s 2 month ampuversary, and she is one happy and content lady!  I can’t think of any residual recovery issues from the surgery…we are just waiting for her to get more confident on the stairs so we can all sleep upstairs again, but other than that she is back to doing everything she loves.  Much of the time that means sitting on the back deck gossiping with the neighbor dogs or laying in the middle of the living room keeping an eye on her people, but man does she look happy doing those everyday things now.  Maybe it’s just that I appreciate it more.

Speaking of appreciation and gratitude, we have so much to be thankful for.  First, of course – Maggie is here and feeling good.  When I think back to 3 months ago when I first heard the word ‘cancer,’ I though all I was going to do for the next year was cry.  Holy cow have Maggie and I learned a lot since then!  I’m grateful for the perspective I have now on her quality of life and the commitment to help her enjoy every last day of it, without worrying (so much) about how many days or years…just good moments.

I’m incredibly grateful for the compassion of Maggie’s veterinarian and her staff – from calling me at 8:30 at night at the end of her long day, to talk with me about treatment options…to pulling strings to get us an appointment with an oncologist THE NEXT DAY, after I called asking for advice about waiting 2 weeks to get in with any specialists…to waiving 3 consecutive office visit charges out of sympathy for all of our vet bills…I’ve been blown away by their care.  They are not only patient with Maggie but also with her nervous-nelly Mom.  I think everyone who answers the phone there got to know me the first couple of weeks after her amputation, and they couldn’t have been nicer.  Seriously, who else would cheerfully suggest that you email pictures of your dog’s swollen, nasty-looking (no offense, Mags) incision site 3 days in a row so they could keep an eye on it without me having to bring her in—other than a vet who really shares your concerns?

Gratitude for the oncologist who, even though we were 20 minutes late for our appointment (driving in from 2+ hours away…I underestimated the +),  took almost 2 hours with us to check Maggie from head to tail and offered such deeply understanding and helpful advice about amputation vs. other options.  When we got the less-than-reassuring final biopsy results after her amputation, I emailed him to see if I could schedule a consultation to get his thoughts about chemo.  Although his email reply said he was out of the office for 2 days, he emailed me back 1/2 hour later with a quick response and a colleague called me 1/2 hour after that to read through the histopathology with me and explain much of what I didn’t understand.  He emailed again the next day to address all of my questions and concerns, and didn’t even mention charging anything for a consultation.  [Incidentally, this was not the specialty center where she had her surgery – although technically fantastic, I think they were too ‘specialized’ and not quite in step with my need for help interpreting and deciding what was best for Maggie.]

Appreciation for my boss and coworkers, who – even if they were thinking “what the is hell’s up with this crazy woman and her damn needy dog, taking a billion hours off work!?!” – never let on, and were pretty darn supportive.  My boss who pretends to be cool and impersonal, actually called from out of town on the day of Maggie’s surgery, to see how it was going.  That was pretty sweet.

Last but definitely not least, I have such deep gratitude for every one of you who administer, support, and populate this site.  I was so desperate for information and just plain freaked out about the idea of amputation, that I didn’t know what to do.  Finding this site is the main reason we made the decision to amputate, and the support and advice I found here is what got me through the first 2 weeks and beyond.  The stories and sense of community has enriched my life so much more than simply a “how to cope with a 3-legged dog” stuff.  So THANK YOU to everyone here for sharing their humanity, humor, caring, understanding, and wisdom.  I’m a better dog mommy, and a better person, because of it.  I hope you all have a very HAPPY THANKSGIVING with all of your favorite people/critters close by or close in your hearts.

Cindy and Maggie

To everyone who responded when I said that Maggie had not been laying on her amputation side, tonight was the night for that. Yayyyy! I was winding down for the evening with some stretching yoga while Maggie watched from the other room with shifty eyes – like what is that weirdo doing on my floor?  Then she hopped up and laid down right in front of me and sort of ungracefully twisted onto her side, looking at me with pride and uncertainty at the same time. I almost hooted with joy, and amusement that she came to show me what she was doing. Maybe my ungraceful yoga inspired her!  Well needless to say she got 20 minutes of brushing and belly rubs on that side.  Her fur had been getting a bit raggedy looking from always laying on her left side, and I’m sure it felt fantastic to shift things around.

She thought about rolling into her back a couple of times, but must have decided to save that for another day when she thinks I need a little progress celebration. This was a great one for tonight!

Ahhhhhh, that feels good!

Continue reading “Life is good”

…that started out with me hovering over my pup on the sidewalk, at 11:30 Thursday night, thinking she was in serious trouble.  We had gone out for our last quick short (they’re never quick) walk of the night, and Maggie laid down either to rest or to stubbornly refuse to turn around towards home.  Totally normal, so I was checking email on my phone and after a few minutes tried to coax her up.  That’s when I noticed she didn’t look good.  She was holding her head low and her eyelids drooped, she didn’t even look up at me.  She even seemed to be breathing very slowly, not panting or smiling like usual when we’re outside.  10 minutes I stood there watching and hoping she’d perk back up, but no change.  I texted my awesome neighbor (they have 4 kids including a teenager, I knew they’d still be awake) to come out and stay with Maggie while I ran home and got my car.  Her husband walked down to where we were and Maggie didn’t so much as look at him – under any normal circumstances she would be jumping and growling at a man walking up to us at night.  I picked her up and put her in the car and she didn’t squirm at all.  I considered going straight to the nearest animal hospital.  But on the drive around the block she sat up in the car and looked more alert.  When we got home she walked into the house but laid down right away and seemed to have trouble holding her back legs under herself.  I honestly thought she had a stroke or was going to die right there in front of me.  You know how your mind races when something’s wrong with your dog.

 

Well she got up a few times and looked shaky but not worse, so I just stayed with her.  She didn’t look like she was really in distress, just barely with-it.  She wouldn’t drink, but later ate a little treat.  OK.  I sat up and stared at her until 2:30 AM.  Convinced she wasn’t gonna die right then and there, I slept for a while.  The next morning, she still looked pretty wiped out, but got up and walked around a bit in the house.  No interest in going out.  What the heck?  Still looking droopy but not agitated or in pain, so I left for work for a couple of hours and made an appointment with her regular vet in the afternoon.  By 11 AM she went out but just laid in the grass, at least she had her head up and was looking around and stuff, but still about 10% of her normal level of activity/alertness.  The vet checked her legs, joints, etc. and found nothing wrong.  Maybe a pulled muscle or nerve in her back.  Maybe just weak – she had not been eating well for a few days (still trying to settle on a new dry/wet food combo that she’ll actually eat).  But the vet recommended chest x-rays to see if her heart and lungs look OK.  I had thought we might do x-rays a few months after her surgery, but since we’ve decided not to do chemo or other further treatment, I was dreading it.  If her cancer had spread this quickly, I knew it would not be a good sign.  [The tumor on Maggie’s leg was an undifferentiated soft tissue sarcoma, locally very aggressive but sort of an X-factor on metastasis…20% on the low end up to 50% on the high end.]  So I held my breath and paced for the 15 minutes it took for them to complete the x-rays.  ALL CLEAR.  WHEWWWWWW!!!  She got agitated while they were in the back room, and pooped all over (I’m glad I just pace when I’m stressed!!), and honestly, looked much happier after that.

 

The vet sent us home with gabapentin in case she has a tweaked nerve, probiotics to help her tummy, and basically a clean bill of health otherwise.  Her mild arthritis has not gotten any worse post-surgery, and her hips and knees “feel good” to their trained inspection.  Also a good reassuring bit of news when I mentioned it’s hell getting her to take pills – apparently they use a place that can process almost any prescription into liquid suspension…so if we get into a situation where she needs other meds and won’t take them, that may come in very handy.  Luckily the gaba is small enough to hide in a treat.  She refuses pill pockets now and larger pills never slip by her anymore.  Since Friday afternoon she has looked better and better, and ate well each time I fed her since then.  We went for a short walk today and she looked great, pooped out for a few minutes, and then got up and ran.  OK, crazy lady.  I feel like this panic/relax/rejoice cycle is just becoming the norm for me now.  At least this round ended with some really good news with the clear x-rays, quite by accident.  I’m sure I would have put off getting them if it weren’t for this episode, so I guess it all worked out alright.

 

Here is Maggie doin’ what she loves – laying the grass and going after squirrels.  If someone had told me that she’d be JUMPING UP on trees just a few weeks after amputation, I wouldn’t have had a split second of hesitation to do it!  They are amazing.  Just amazing.

 

Actually, that was going to be the title of my post 2 weeks ago, but I never got around to it and am just now catching up.  It was, indeed, a week revolving around poop.  Maggie had diarrhea and vomiting for several days and we never did figure out why.  Things seem normal now, and I’m guessing either a change in her diet or…poop!  Poop File #1 – Suddenly Maggie is disgustingly interested in eating any variety of poop she can find in anyone’s yard.  Any ideas on this?   Missing something in her new healthier diet (I switched to a better brand of light/senior dry food that she just plain won’t eat, and grain-free canned food)?  Or just trying to gross me out?  I have a hard time “dragging” her away from things when on walks now, even with her harness I don’t want to pull her off balance.

Poop File #2 – Maggie figured out how to scrape at the ground with her back paws after going potty.  I always thought this was hilarious and looked like a cat in a litter box, but she’s always done it.  It took 5 weeks to figure this out with one front leg to balance on.  I’m counting it as a success!

Poop File #3 – Another success, and a doozie… Maggie can once again scoot her butt across the carpet/grass.  Go Maggie!!  She really has to work at it, which cracks me up, but she looks so proud of herself, which also cracks me up.

Poop File #4, and another ridiculous side-effect of life post-amp – we never make it all the way around a block and past a city dumpster on walks, so I end up coming home with a poop bag on every walk.  Since I’m usually preoccupied with getting Maggie back into the house and checking to see what my kiddo was up to in the house by himself for 10 minutes 10 times a day (gaining responsibility, I guess), I don’t run the poop bag all the way out to the dumpster behind our house, so we end up with a little pile of poop bags behind our house.  CLASSY!!

Poop File #5 – actually more of a helpful tip: if you find yourself returning from a jaunt in the park with a poop bag in hand and no garbage can nearby (of course I used to just run Maggie over to a farther-away garbage can, but now I know she’d tire out)…dreading the thought/smell of bringing it in the car with you – clip it under the rear windshield wiper until you get home to throw it away.  If nothing else, nobody will tailgate you on the drive home!  [Full disclosure: I didn’t actually throw it away; it’s in the poop bag pile in the back yard with the others. I swear I’m not really that lazy, but sometimes there are just too dang many other things to do.]

 

Alright, enough potty talk.  Maggie is doing GREAT.  She runs and jumps (I hold my breath).  She lays around and looks happy.  She doesn’t tire out as quickly.  She infuriates me by refusing to take her Denamarin (for liver) no.matter.what.we.try.  We finally got chewables from our vet (at twice the cost, of course) and she even turned up her nose at those…this morning I crushed them and mixed in with some food and the medicine actually entered her body, amen.

I have one question for others here – did your pup return to rolling on his/her back, and if so, how long post-amp? Maggie used to just chill like this a lot, and hasn’t rolled onto her back at all since surgery.  Not sure if she can’t hoist her way around or thinks she wouldn’t be able to get upright again, or what.  She does lay flat on her stomach with the incision area partially under her, so I don’t think there’s any residual pain at the site, but she has not laid actually on the incision side or on her back at all.

Finally, on a really good note, I noticed something a couple weeks ago that is a great reassurance about our decision to amputate.  Over the last ?? several months or more before we knew anything was wrong with her leg, Maggie had taken to laying down with a big, deep, loud SIGH.  I thought this was an old age thing, since I knew she had a little arthritis, and you just get used to your dog’s noises after a while so I didn’t think too much of it.  Well after the craziness of the first month post-amp, I started to realize that I wasn’t hearing this loud sigh anymore when she would flop down.  So I started listening for it, and nope, it’s not there.  This must have been a sign of pain or discomfort LONG before any limping or other signs.  Even though she tires out more now, she doesn’t seem as WEARY as she did before.  Cancer or not, we’ve given her a new lease on life for now.

 

I know I owe some pictures, but my computer is being a POOP and won’t allow me to download photos from my phone right now.  Soon.

 

Take care all you happy hoppers!!

Cindy and Maggie